1
毋庸置疑，謙虛是人的一種美德。
謙虛可以帶來顯而易見的益處?！读朔菜挠?xùn)》里說謙德之效：“由此觀之，舉頭三尺，決有神明；趨吉避兇，斷然由我。須使我存心制行，毫不得罪于天地鬼神，而虛心屈己，使天地鬼神，時時憐我，方有受福之基。彼氣盈者，必非遠(yuǎn)器，縱發(fā)亦無受用。稍有識見之士，必不忍自狹其量，而自拒其福也，況謙則受教有地，而取善無窮，尤修業(yè)者所必不可少者也。
古語云：「有志于功名者，必得功名；有志于富貴者，必得富貴?！谷酥兄?，如樹之有根，立定此志，須念念謙虛，塵塵方便，自然感動天地，而造福由我?！?/p>
對自我來說，謙虛可以讓人心態(tài)平和，可以更好地面對生活的坎坷和磨難。
謙虛的人，往往偏見和成見的成分少些，不容易走極端，因而更容易受到其他人的歡迎和友善對待。
2
謙虛不是自卑。
自卑是自我卑賤，自己感覺什么都要比對方弱一些、矮一些，什么都比不上對方，沒了底氣和骨氣，輸了志氣，從而也就沒有可能與對手競爭和比學(xué)趕幫超，不能在追趕對手的競爭中實(shí)現(xiàn)自己和對手的成長。
謙虛則是開放的、包容的、把姿態(tài)放低到幾乎無我的一種信念和人生態(tài)度。
自身帶有如山的稟賦資質(zhì)，卻謙伏到眾生人群之中，甘為人下，為的是可以學(xué)人一言之善、一技之長，通過不斷充實(shí)、擴(kuò)充自己，來實(shí)現(xiàn)自我成長。
謙則善能進(jìn)，虛則心能容，可以德明，可以親民，然后止于至善。
謙虛和其它美德一樣存在一個如何衡量、如何評價(jià)問題，同樣面臨美德的評價(jià)困境。
如果現(xiàn)實(shí)中，一個人自詡為是周圍最為謙虛的人，并經(jīng)常把自己是最謙虛的人放在心里，掛在嘴上?，F(xiàn)實(shí)中，周圍眾人一定不以為然，認(rèn)為這樣的自我評價(jià)往往言過其實(shí)。從自我評價(jià)和社會評價(jià)兩個方面，自詡為是周圍最謙虛的人，就會走向謙虛的反面：驕傲。
怎么衡量一個人是不是謙虛？一個人又怎么去不斷培植自己的謙虛德性呢？
3
美德的衡量困境：人往往自我評價(jià)過高。
曾經(jīng)看見過一個大學(xué)內(nèi)部教師的社會調(diào)查。題目很簡單，讓每個人自我評價(jià)在學(xué)校內(nèi)學(xué)術(shù)水平的大概位置。每個人給自己的學(xué)術(shù)水平按照100分自我打分，然后把全校教師打分進(jìn)行平均。
正常分析，一個相對較多人組成群體的學(xué)術(shù)水平，應(yīng)該是正態(tài)分布，兩頭小中間大。也就是大多數(shù)人是中間數(shù)為普通水平，優(yōu)秀的和差勁的在兩端。
實(shí)驗(yàn)結(jié)果，幾乎每個人都認(rèn)為自己的水平超過平均數(shù)以上。有的是水平本身確實(shí)在平均數(shù)以上，有的明顯不及旁人的往往也會自己打分在平均數(shù)以上，人總會超出各種理由來為自己的現(xiàn)實(shí)表現(xiàn)開脫，給出一個超出現(xiàn)實(shí)的自我預(yù)估。
把分?jǐn)?shù)加起來再平均，遠(yuǎn)超過應(yīng)該有的群體平均水平。
這個實(shí)驗(yàn)的結(jié)論，就是人往往會對自我評價(jià)過高。
相應(yīng)地，人也會對別人評價(jià)相對實(shí)際來說較低一些。
4
一般常識，知道自己的無知和人生的有限，往往是做到謙虛的一個前提，也是衡量人謙虛與否的一把尺子。
不知道自己的無知，遇事待人容易愚蠢、傲慢。
無知的人還包括那些年紀(jì)很小的人、十分愚蠢的人，他們對叔本華、所羅門等先知面對的有關(guān)生命的問題還不理解。借用那個東方寓言來說，他們被無知遮蔽了雙眼，既看不到等待吞噬他們的巨龍，也看不到危及他們生存的老鼠，而只是心安理得地舔食那點(diǎn)兒蜂蜜。
莊子說，“吾生也有涯，而知也無涯”，人生有限，而認(rèn)知和追求是永無止境的。人的現(xiàn)有認(rèn)知和擁有的能力，都只不過是人類和自然發(fā)展史上的極其有限的片段。
（孔）子曰：“吾有知乎哉？無知也。有鄙夫問于我，空空如也。我叩其兩端而竭焉?！?/p>
張載有一段解釋：“有不知則又知，無不知則無知。是以鄙夫有問，仲尼竭兩端而空空。易無思無為，受命乃有響。圣人一言盡天下之道，雖鄙夫有問，必竭兩端而告之。然問者隨才分各足，未必能兩端之盡也?！?/p>
開啟希臘哲學(xué)的蘇格拉底，在大眾眼里是最有智慧的人，他卻說自己一無所知。正因?yàn)樘K格拉底有無知之知，才不被自以為是的所謂現(xiàn)有智慧所遮蔽，孜孜以求真正的智慧。
一個人，認(rèn)識到個體的有限，才能敞開胸懷，虛心學(xué)習(xí)前賢的前言往行，吸納充實(shí)自己；認(rèn)識到自己的無知，才能分清自己有限的知識和智慧只是自然無限知識和智慧庫里的一粒微光，才不敢驕傲自負(fù)，才能做到骨子里的謙虛。
5
另一個常識是擁有成長型心態(tài)的人，往往比較謙虛，這可以作為自我衡量或者分析別人的另一把尺子。
心理學(xué)家德維克認(rèn)為，擁有固定型心態(tài)往往固守成見、不易變通，對失敗歸結(jié)為自己不夠聰明、能力不夠，因此不愿意再進(jìn)行嘗試；擁有成長型心態(tài)的人，則看世界是可變化的、圓通的，失敗是因?yàn)樽约号Τ潭炔粔?，技術(shù)能力不足可以通過學(xué)習(xí)努力彌補(bǔ)，失敗是成功之母。
從德維克提到的兩種心態(tài)來說，對個人信念和成見抱有可以變化的成長型心態(tài)，而不是固定型心態(tài)的人，更容易待人處事采取謙虛的態(tài)度。
德維克認(rèn)為：“為什么把時間一次次地浪費(fèi)在證明你自己多么偉大上面，而不是讓自己變得更好？
為什么藏拙，把自己的缺點(diǎn)隱藏起來，而不是努力去克服它們？
為什么總是尋找一些能夠唱和支撐你自尊的朋友或者伴侶，而不是尋找那些能夠挑戰(zhàn)你，讓你成長的諍友或者伴侶？
為什么總是找出以前的嘗試過的或者真實(shí)的例子來證明自己的能力，而不是新的經(jīng)歷去拓展你的能力？
拓展你自己的激情，始終堅(jiān)持下去，即使有時在困難的境地，是成長型心態(tài)的典型特征。這種心態(tài)，讓人們即使是處在最具挑戰(zhàn)性的時間里，也能夠讓自己生機(jī)勃勃，茁壯成長。”
因?yàn)檎J(rèn)識到自己的能力、知識和信念三觀都是可以隨著成長而變化的，不是固定不變的，所以待人處事就不會固執(zhí)成見、不那么盲目自信，容易采取開放的心態(tài)，容易接受別人的觀點(diǎn)，容易與別人溝通，這些都可以成為一個人謙虛的特質(zhì)。
6
如何在做人處事中培植謙虛的德性？
衡量謙虛德性也可以有兩個維度：自我衡量和社會衡量。
自我衡量是以自我為出發(fā)點(diǎn)，用心動和意識去覺察自我行為的表現(xiàn)。
如果以培植謙虛德性作為目標(biāo)，需要以無知的空杯心態(tài)和渴求自我成長的狀態(tài)，不斷在日常用這兩把尺子去自我衡量，慎于一念之微的自我反饋，自我反省。
然后，知不足而改，顏回不二過，警醒自己克服驕傲自大，逐步走向內(nèi)心真正的謙虛，形成習(xí)慣。
社會衡量是以社會規(guī)范和同輩評價(jià)作為維度，是把自己融入到親民行動中，從與別人互動的反饋中，檢驗(yàn)自己的謙虛德性養(yǎng)成過程。
自我內(nèi)心的衡量，與社會他人的衡量，相互印證，相互促進(jìn)，共生共榮。
敬畏、感激、感恩和共情能力的培養(yǎng)，都可以為謙虛德性養(yǎng)成添加營養(yǎng)。
未經(jīng)過實(shí)踐檢驗(yàn)的謙虛德性是靠不住的，沒有經(jīng)過現(xiàn)實(shí)誘惑的謙虛德性是不踏實(shí)的，真誠的謙虛，還需要在事上歷練，在知行合一中養(yǎng)成。
真誠的謙虛，是人見過天地眾生之后的通達(dá)圓融而自在的選擇。
There are ways to figure out how aware you are of your own limitations—and to cultivate intellectual humility.
BY TYRONE SGAMBATI | JULY 13, 2022
Psychologists have recently linked intellectual humility to a host of benefits: showing more persistence in the face of failure, holding less polarized beliefs and attitudes, and being received as warm and friendly by others. But what does it take to be intellectually humble—and how do you know if you already are?
The old joke about humility—that “it’s my greatest quality”—speaks to the difficulty in knowing how humble you actually are. It’s a paradox: If you’re walking around thinking you’re humbler than most people, then chances are good that you’re not.
For precisely that reason, a trait like humility presents special problems in measurement for scientists and lay people alike. Even so, there are ways for you to try to understand how intellectually humble you are—and to cultivate this quality within yourself.
The trouble with measuring humility
Despite intellectual humility being the subject of intense scientific study in recent years, there remains debate among scientists on how best to measure it. That debate begins with a basic question: What is intellectual humility? Most scientists agree that being aware of your intellectual limitations and the fallibility of your beliefs is an important part of intellectual humility, but beyond that there isn’t a clear consensus. Some argue that intellectual humility ends there, while others suggest that things like how we view others’ ideas and how we express our beliefs are components of intellectual humility.
Most recently, a study published in the Journal of Personality Assessment reviewed the existing theories and measures of intellectual humility and proposed that there are two key dimensions: the self-directed vs. other-directed dimension and the internal vs. expressed dimension.
Both internal and expressed intellectual humility can concern either one’s own intellect and beliefs (self-directed) or those of others (other-directed), but internal intellectual humility is limited to an individual’s thoughts and opinions, whereas expressed intellectual humility captures how they act.
The differences between internal and external intellectual humility have important implications for how we detect humility in ourselves. While expressed intellectual humility, which consists of actions, can be detected by any observer, say a friend or a partner, your own internal humility is only accessible to one person: you!
Which means if you’re reading this article because you want to know if you are intellectually humble, you’re in a bit of a pickle. You could start by asking yourself one of the questions that researchers ask study participants: Do you “question your own opinions, positions, and viewpoints because they could be wrong?” But now you (and scientists who ask these questions) are faced with a problem: Are individuals really well-equipped to accurately assess their own intellectual humility?
The trouble is that humans are prone to many biases and blind spots that can make accurate self-assessment difficult. In fact, because we show a preference for positive emotions over negative ones, we are motivated to “self-enhance,” or view ourselves more favorably than we really are.
For example, decades of research on these kinds of biases demonstrate that individuals robustly and systematically rate themselves as higher than average on desirable traits like “intelligent” and “friendly” and lower than average on undesirable traits like “vain” and “dishonest.”
Unfortunately, there is no magic solution to this problem, and scientists themselves primarily use self-report questionnaires to assess intellectual humility. However, there is good news! Several measurement validation studies have shown that in spite of these biases, self-reports of intellectual humility are linked to patterns of behaviors and other attitudes that are consistent with the concept of intellectual humility. That doesn’t mean that individuals can perfectly assess their own intellectual humility, but it does suggest that self-reflection is informative.
Just be sure to remain mindful of the human tendency to self-enhance!
Discovering your own intellectual humility
Here are four different types of intellectual humility to look for in yourself—and some tips on how you might cultivate each one.
Remember the paper, discussed above, that proposed two dimensions of intellectual humility: internal vs. external and self-directed vs. other-directed? Together, the authors suggest that these dimensions create four types of intellectual humility. You can use them as a framework for assessing your capacity to be intellectually humble.
1. Internal and self-directed intellectual humility. This one requires you to inquire, honestly, about yourself. For example, when you have an opinion, are you open to changing it? Do you ever think about whether the reasons you have for a certain belief might be wrong? Do you calibrate the strength of your beliefs to the strength of your evidence? As answers begin to come to mind, make sure to take a moment and examine them for any biased thinking. Did they stand up to the scrutiny or was there some self-enhancement baked into your intuitions?
For readers who want to improve this kind of intellectual humility, making a habit of awareness is a great first step. Try checking in on your beliefs and opinions periodically, especially those that are important to you. Pay attention to the strength of the evidence supporting those beliefs, whether you ever question them, and how open you are to changing your mind. Just the very act of checking in constitutes intellectual humility, but doing it will also help you recognize where you might be falling short.
2. Internal and other-directed intellectual humility. This type of internal intellectual humility concerns thoughts and awareness regarding others. Once again, you’ll have to do some self-reflection, and one common place to start is asking yourself whether you recognize the intellectual merit in opinions and beliefs that are different from your own.
Before answering, it’s important to acknowledge the breadth of this question. It might be easy to recognize the merit in a friend’s opinion about a new movie, but very difficult to see merit in why someone voted for a political candidate you dislike. In fact, research has shown that when we perceive a discussion as a disagreement or when we perceive our discussion partner as immoral, we are less likely to be intellectually humble.
Often, we jump to conclusions about other people and their beliefs, even with incomplete information. We tend to judge books by their proverbial covers. This is exactly where an intellectually humble individual will withhold strong judgments, precisely because evidence is limited as long as you haven’t “read” the book. For instance, hearing that someone voted for your least favorite political candidate might elicit a negative knee-jerk reaction. However, you may not know how they arrived at their decision or the quality of evidence that led them there. If you find yourself in this situation, be curious! Understand the entirety of the picture—both your side and theirs—before making a judgment.
At the end of the day, it’s possible that you still disagree with their voting choice—and that’s OK. This type of intellectually humility is not about changing your opinion to accommodate others; it’s about fairly evaluating others and their beliefs.
3. Expressed and self-directed intellectual humility. Expressed and self-directed intellectual humility captures whether you behave in a way that is consistent with internal intellectual humility about your own beliefs and attitudes. Some common examples of this kind of intellectual humility are actively searching for both confirmatory and disconfirmatory evidence and being willing to outwardly admit when you are wrong.
Now, you can of course begin by asking yourself how much you do these things, but for the expressed form of intellectual humility, you can also look to those around you to help determine how humble you are. Doing both, asking yourself and others, will likely give you a more accurate picture of how intellectually humble your actions really are.
Most people have at one point or another realized that they were wrong about something—but then couldn’t bring themselves to admit it. Boiled down, this is a disconnect between internal and external intellectual humility. Even armed with the knowledge that you were wrong, you put up a fight to “save face.” Although that response might feel instinctual, the research suggests that it’s those who are perceived as intellectually humble and admit being wrong who are viewed more favorably by their peers. So, when you are wrong, just admit it!
4. Expressed and other-directed intellectual humility. This kind of intellectual humility arises perhaps most frequently in the midst of conflict, and involves expressions of intellectual humility toward others’ beliefs and attitudes. When you and your spouse (or maybe a close friend) disagree, how do you approach their perspective? Are you willing to hear it out in good faith, or do you insist they must have it all wrong?
Even the best of us can get sucked into the latter, but it’s a textbook example of intellectual arrogance. This type of intellectual humility can also arise in the context of feedback. It’s easy to discount critical feedback on the grounds that you “know better.” However, in doing so not only are you suggesting that your ideas are superior to your critic’s, but you may also be missing out on valuable insights that lie in your blind spots.
This is the perfect type of intellectual humility to check in with those closest to you about. Ask them if they feel heard in conflict, if you convey yourself in a way that suggests you think your opinions are superior to theirs, and how you receive feedback. If the answer surprises you, that’s just one more reason to work on being intellectually humble.
Knowing how intellectually humble you are isn’t an easy task, and being intellectually humble itself isn’t any easier! At the heart of these difficulties lie human characteristics and biases that we all share: We self-enhance, we’re prone to defensiveness in disagreements, we judge books by their covers, and the list goes on. Yet, the science tells us that fostering these four aspects of intellectual humility can help you learn new things, improve your relationships, and create a less divided world.
If you’d like to dig deeper and take a science-based quiz assessing your intellectual humility, please visit our new Greater Good intellectual humility quiz!
Intellectual Humility Quiz
Are you willing to concede if you don’t know something? Or do you get defensive when someone questions your beliefs?
Your answers might say a lot about how much “intellectual humility” you have. According to researchers, intellectual humility centers on recognizing the limitations of your own knowledge and beliefs, and it is linked to many benefits.
It can help you to learn new things and make you curious, instead of combative, when confronted with opposing views. There’s evidence that it can strengthen your relationships and help you build bridges with diverse groups of people–a skill we need more than ever. During a time of intense political polarization, intellectual humility may provide us with a constructive way forward.
This quiz, which is drawn from three scientifically validated scales, aims to measure your intellectual humility. Please answer the first 11 questions below honestly; there are no right or wrong answers. The last seven questions are about you, and will be used to explore how intellectual humility relates to factors like age and gender.
When you're done, you'll get your score, learn more about the benefits of intellectual humility, and find resources to help you recognize your own limitations and be more open to other points of view.
Quizzes like this one are not the last word on your abilities. Instead, take them as an invitation to reflect on your strengths and on areas where you might improve.
Take The Quiz
1. Before forming a strong opinion, I prefer to review evidence and different viewpoints.
Strongly Disagree
Disagree
Neither Agree Nor Disagree
Agree
Strongly Agree
2. I have at times changed opinions that were important to me, when presented with new evidence.
Strongly Disagree
Disagree
Neither Agree Nor Disagree
Agree
Strongly Agree
3. I can recognize the evidence supporting opinions that are different from my own.
Strongly Disagree
Disagree
Neither Agree Nor Disagree
Agree
Strongly Agree
4. I acknowledge that my beliefs and attitudes may be incorrect.
Strongly Disagree
Disagree
Neither Agree Nor Disagree
Agree
Strongly Agree
5. I'm careful to calibrate the strength of my opinions to the strength of the evidence I have.
Strongly Disagree
Disagree
Neither Agree Nor Disagree
Agree
Strongly Agree
6. I am willing to admit it if I don’t know something.
Strongly Disagree
Disagree
Neither Agree Nor Disagree
Agree
Strongly Agree
7. I welcome different ways of thinking about important topics.
Strongly Disagree
Disagree
Neither Agree Nor Disagree
Agree
Strongly Agree
8. Even when I disagree with others, I can recognize that they have sound points.
Strongly Disagree
Disagree
Neither Agree Nor Disagree
Agree
Strongly Agree
9. I have a hard time admitting when one of my beliefs is mistaken.
Strongly Disagree
Disagree
Neither Agree Nor Disagree
Agree
Strongly Agree
10. I am willing to hear others out,聽完 even if I disagree with them.
Strongly Disagree
Disagree
Neither Agree Nor Disagree
Agree
Strongly Agree
11. I tend to feel threatened when others disagree with me on topics that are close to my heart.
Strongly Disagree
Disagree
Neither Agree Nor Disagree
Agree
Strongly Agree
12. What is your age?
Under 18
18 - 29
30 - 39
40 - 49
50 - 59
60 - 69
70 or Over
13. Please select your ethnic background (if you identify with more than one ethnicity, select the one you identify with the most, or select multiethnic).
African, African American
Asian, Asian American
European, European American (Caucasian)
Latino, Latino American, Chicano
Native American
Middle Eastern
Multiethnic
Specify
14. In terms of your gender identity, do you see yourself as:
Female/Woman
Male/Man
Gender non-binary
I prefer to self-identify
Specify
15. What describes your highest level of education?
Did not finish high school
High school diploma
Associate degree or certificate program
Bachelor's degree
Did some graduate study
Graduate or professional degree
16. Which best describes the neighborhood in which you live?
Rural
Suburban
Small City
Big City
17. Please provide your best estimate of your annual household income in USD (before taxes).
Less than $25,000
$25,000 - $49,999
$50,000 - $74,999
$75,000 - $99,999
$100,000 - $124,999
$125,000 - $149,999
$150,000 - $174,999
$175,000 - $199,999
Over $200,000
18. How would you describe your political views?
Very Liberal
Liberal
Moderate
Conservative
Very Conservative
Your intellectual humility score is 42 out of 55, suggesting that while you sometimes acknowledge your own limitations and value other people's beliefs, that can be challenging for you.
It's worth it for you to try to cultivate more intellectual humility, given the benefits psychologists have linked to it: showing more persistence in the face of failure, holding less polarized beliefs and attitudes, and being seen as warm and friendly by others. Fortunately, there are exercises that can help you to strengthen your intellectual humility.
Ask yourself questions: When you find yourself disagreeing with someone, ask yourself these questions: Why do I disagree? Do I have all the information about this? Am I making any assumptions? How did I come to hold this view and where did I get this information? And then flip it around and ask yourself those same questions about the other person's views: Where did their beliefs come from? What information might they have that I don't?
Try getting distance from yourself: A 2021 study found that "self-distancing"—looking at oneself like an outside observer—could significantly increase intellectual humility. In this study, participants were asked to keep a diary over the course of a month and write about each day's most significant event. One group wrote in the first person (e.g., "This happened to me"), and the other group wrote in the third person (e.g., "This happened to Bob"). The people who wrote in the third person—or who "self-distanced" from the incident—became much more intellectually humble when reflecting on interpersonal challenges.
Try to be patient:"The brain evolved the capacity to think in order to guide our behavior in adaptive ways," says psychologist Mark Leary. "If we assume that our understanding of almost anything . . . improves over time, then there's no reason to draw a firm conclusion until we need to act on it. Then, we go with the best information—from the most credible sources—that we have." That means simply being patient as you gather information and keeping an open mind until you need to act.
Seek out awe: Sometimes it can feel like we're at the center of our own universe. Experiencing awe can jolt us out of this self-focused mindset, stirring feelings of wonder and inspiration by reminding us that we're all just one piece of a greater puzzle. Research suggests that experiencing awe not only enhances happiness and physical health but also helps us to feel more humble. It is most likely to occur in places that have two key features: physical vastness and novelty. These could include natural settings, like a hiking trail lined with tall trees, or urban settings, like at the top of a skyscraper. No matter where you are, the key is to be in the right frame of mind. The Awe Walk practice is designed to help you get there—to turn an ordinary walk into a series of awe-inspiring moments, filled with delightful surprises.
Embrace mistakes and practice admitting that you made them: In the 2017 paper "Learning from Errors," psychologist Janet Metcalfe argues that students may benefit from making mistakes (and correcting them) rather than avoiding them at all costs. When you discover that you were wrong about something, suggests psychologist Rick Hanson, "Start by reminding yourself how it is in your own best interests to admit fault and move on. We might think that admitting fault is weak or that it lets the other person off the hook for [their] faults. But actually, it takes a strong person to admit fault, and it puts us in a stronger position with others." Research suggests that people will see the strength it took to admit you made a mistake—and they'll like you for it.
