CODEPENDENCY, ADDICTION, AND EMPTINESS 互相依賴,沉溺上癮和空虛 (中)

本文作者Darlene Lancer

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Buddhist Emptiness 佛教徒的空虛

The Buddhists teach extensively about emptiness, originating with Gautama Shakyamuni Buddha in the 6th B.C.E. Their concept is quite differentfrom the ordinary understanding of the word. For rather being a painfulemotional state, its full realization provides a method to end pain andsuffering and reach enlightenment. Fundamental is the idea that there is nointrinsic, permanent self. The Mahayana and Vajrayana schools go further to believe that the contents of consciousness and objects are also empty, meaning that phenomena lack a substantial, inherent existence, and have only relative existence

佛教徒廣泛地教導(dǎo)空虛,這起源于公元前6世紀(jì)喬達(dá)摩釋迦摩尼佛陀。他們對(duì)空虛這個(gè)詞的概念和世界普通的理解是完全不同的。寧可存在一個(gè)痛苦的情緒狀態(tài),它是完全實(shí)現(xiàn)地提供一個(gè)方法去結(jié)束痛苦和受難以及去接觸啟迪?;驹硎沁@里不存在固有的,永恒的自己。大乘佛教和藏轉(zhuǎn)佛教學(xué)校更進(jìn)一步相信意識(shí)和物體的內(nèi)容也同樣是虛空,意味著現(xiàn)象缺乏本質(zhì)和內(nèi)在的存在,有的僅是相關(guān)的存在。


The Cause of Psychological Emptiness 心理空虛的成因

For codependents, including addicts, their emptiness comes from growing?up in a?dysfunctional?family devoid of sufficient nurturing and empathy, referred to by psychiatrist James Masterson asabandonment?depression Codependents experience this to varying degrees. They suffer from self-alienation, isolation, and shame, which can be masked by the behaviors that accompany addiction, including denial,dependency, people-pleasing, control, caretaking, obsessive thoughts,compulsive behavior and feelings such as anger and anxiety.

關(guān)于相互依賴,包括沉溺上癮,他們的空虛來自成長(zhǎng)在缺乏滋養(yǎng)和同理心的不健全家庭中,參考自精神病學(xué)家馬斯特森詹姆斯的“拋棄抑郁”。相互依賴經(jīng)歷到這里展現(xiàn)不同程度。他們?cè)馐茏晕沂桦x,隔離,羞恥心,這些都可以在伴隨著沉溺上癮,包括否認(rèn),依賴,取悅?cè)耍刂?,看管,?qiáng)迫性想法,強(qiáng)制性行為和感受如憤怒和焦慮的行為來掩蔽。

Chronic failure to receive adequate empathy and fulfillment of needs in?childhood can profoundly affect our sense of self and belonging in adulthood.Physical separation or?emotional?abandonment?from parents in childhood impacts how as adults we experience being alone, the ending of a relationship, death, or other significant loss. Sadness,loneliness, and/or emptiness, can activate feelings of shame and vice versa.Often, these early deficits are exacerbated by additional trauma, abuse, andabandonment later in adolescence and adult relationships. After a loss, we can feel like the world has died, representing a symbolic death of our mother or ofthe self, and be accompanied by feelings of emptiness and nothingness.

在童年時(shí)期長(zhǎng)期失敗于接受充足的同理心和需求的滿足能深刻地影響在成年時(shí)期我們對(duì)于自我的感受和歸屬感。在童年時(shí)期來自父母的實(shí)體分隔或者情感拋棄極大影響著作為成年人我們?nèi)绾谓?jīng)歷孤獨(dú),一段關(guān)系的結(jié)束,死亡,或者其他重大損失。悲哀,孤獨(dú),和/或空虛,都能刺激羞恥的感受,反之亦然。通常來說,這些早期的不足會(huì)因著額外的外傷,虐待,隨后在青年期和成人關(guān)系中的拋棄而加重。失敗以后,我們會(huì)感覺這世界已死,代表我們母親或者自體的象征性死亡,并且被空虛和虛無的感覺伴隨。

Searching for wholeness through addiction and others provides only temporary relief from emptiness and depression and further alienates us from ourselves and a solution. This strategy stops working when?the passionof?a new relationship or an addictive high wanes. We’re disappointed; our needs go unmet; and loneliness, emptiness, and depression return. We may long for the initial passionate, vibrant relationship. Unbearable anxiety andemptiness intensify when we try to detach from an addictive relationship, whenwe’re alone, or when we finally stop trying to help, pursue, or change someoneelse. Letting go and accepting our powerlessness over others can evoke the same emptiness that addicts experience when giving up drugs or a process addiction.

通過沉迷上癮和其他提供暫時(shí)地從空虛和沮喪及更深的自我疏離中減輕和一個(gè)解決方案來尋求完全。當(dāng)一段新關(guān)系的激情或者一個(gè)成癮的高地衰退時(shí),這個(gè)戰(zhàn)略會(huì)停止工作。而我們是失望的;我們的需求沒有得到滿足;孤獨(dú),空虛,沮喪憂愁再次襲來。我們可能渴望最初的熱情,充滿活力的關(guān)系。當(dāng)我們嘗試著從一段上癮的關(guān)系中分離,難以忍受的焦慮和空虛會(huì)加重,當(dāng)我們獨(dú)自的時(shí)候或者當(dāng)我們最終停止嘗試去幫助,追逐或者改變其他的某個(gè)人時(shí)。放手和接受我們對(duì)于他人的無能為力能引起同樣的空虛,如同在放棄藥物或者一個(gè)放棄藥物過程的上癮時(shí)候的上癮經(jīng)歷。

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