【賞析者】弼馬溫

PART I

I was a wonderful parent before I had children. I was an expert on why everyone else was having problems with theirs. Then I had three of my own.

【段落大意】

我是個(gè)很棒的家長(zhǎng)，嗯，那是在有孩子之前。我在為什么家長(zhǎng)與孩子之間總有這么多問(wèn)題上曾經(jīng)是個(gè)專家，然后我有了3個(gè)孩子，也就有了自己的3個(gè)問(wèn)題。

【單詞/詞組/句型】

① be an expert on ...

expert on

eg. He’s a world expert on marine mammals.

expert in

an expert in statistics

GRAMMAR: Prepositions with expert

? Someone is an expert on a subject or issue: He’s an expert on the Cold War.

?Don’t say: He’s an expert of the Cold War.

? Someone is an expert in a field of study or an activity: She’s an expert in family law.

?Don’t say: She’s an expert of family law.

expert on 和 expert in后面都直接跟名詞，意思上感覺沒有顯著差異

② I was an expert on why everyone else was having problems with theirs.

這里的過(guò)去進(jìn)行時(shí)，我感覺是為了和I was an expert保持一致。

Living with real children can be humbling. Every morning I would tell myself, “Today is going to be different,” and every morning was a variation of the one before: “You gave her more than me!” . . . “That’s the pink cup. I want the blue cup.” . . . “This oatmeal looks like throw-up.” . . . “He punched me.” . . . “I never touched him!” . . . “I won’t go to my room. You’re not the boss over me!”

【段落大意】

養(yǎng)育孩子讓人實(shí)在沒脾氣。每天早晨我都對(duì)自己說(shuō):“今天又是新的一天，不會(huì)再像昨天那樣糟糕了”，但事實(shí)上每天都只是以前的變奏而已，沒有實(shí)質(zhì)差異?！澳憬o她的多!”。。。“這是粉色的杯子，我要那個(gè)藍(lán)色的?！?。。?！斑@個(gè)燕麥粥好惡心啊就像別人吐出來(lái)的一樣。”。。?！八蛭??！?。。?！拔腋緵]有碰他!”“我不回自己房間，你不能支使我!”

【單詞/詞組/句型】

① humble 以前只知道humble有謙虛的意思，其實(shí)還有很多其他相關(guān)聯(lián)的意思

adjective

2 having a low social class or position

eg. He started his career as a humble peanut farmer.

humble background/origins etc Iacocca rose from humble beginnings to become boss of Ford.

3 → in my humble opinion spoken used humorously to give your opinion about something

eg. It is, in my humble opinion, perhaps the best steak restaurant in Great Britain.

4 → my humble apologies British English spoken used humorously to say you are sorry

5 [only before noun] simple and ordinary, but useful or effective

eg.The humble potato may be the key to feeding the world’s population.

6 → eat humble pie (also eat crow American English) to admit that you were wrong and say that you are sorry

eg. Taylor's victory in the semi-final has forced many of her critics to eat humble pie.

verb

2 [transitive] to easily defeat someone who is much stronger than you are

eg. The mighty U.S. army was humbled by a small Southeast Asian country.

② variation

[可數(shù)名詞] 同一事物略微的變化形式；A variation on something is the same thing presented in a slightly different form. [usu N on n]

This delicious variation on an omelette is quick and easy to prepare...

這種稍加變化的可口煎蛋卷做起來(lái)又快又容易。

Many theories on punishment exist, all of which are variations on a theme.

關(guān)于懲罰的理論有很多，雖形式略有不同，但其主旨都是一樣的。

著名的卡農(nóng)變奏曲： Variations on the Canon

② throw-up

throw up: 1 to bring food or drink up from your stomach out through your mouth because you are ill SYN vomit

throw up是嘔吐的意思，所以我覺得throw-up在這里是嘔吐物的意思。

② You’re not the boss over me! 如果讓我造句，一定寫的是You are not the boss of me.

They finally wore me down. And though it was the last thing I ever dreamed I’d be doing, I joined a parent group. The group met at a local child-guidance center and was led by a young psychologist, Dr. Haim Ginott.

【段落大意】

最終這些擊垮了我，我從來(lái)沒想過(guò)我竟然也因此參加了一個(gè)家長(zhǎng)群。這個(gè)群由一個(gè)年輕的心理學(xué)家Ginott博士組織，家長(zhǎng)們?cè)谝粋€(gè)當(dāng)?shù)氐膬和笇?dǎo)中心里聚會(huì)。

【單詞/詞組/句型】

① wear somebody? down to gradually make someone physically weaker or less determined

eg. It was clear he was being worn down by the rumours over his future.

② 直接拿來(lái)背誦: And though it was the last thing I ever dreamed I’d be doing, I joined a parent group.

The meeting was intriguing. The subject was “children’s feelings,” and the two hours sped by. I came home with a head spinning with new thoughts and a notebook full of undigested ideas:

Direct connection between how kids feel and how they behave.

When kids feel right, they’ll behave right. How do we help them to feel right?

By accepting their feelings!

Problem—Parents don’t usually accept their children’s feelings. For example:“You don’t really feel that way.”“You’re just saying that because you’re tired.”“There’s no reason to be so upset.”

【段落大意】

這次的聚會(huì)非常有趣，主題是“孩子的感受”，2個(gè)小時(shí)的時(shí)間過(guò)得飛快。回家時(shí)我?guī)е鴿M腦子盤旋的新思想和本子上記的滿滿的還沒消化的新想法:

孩子的行為與他們的感受直接相關(guān)。

孩子的感受正確時(shí)他們的行為就是正確的。那么我們?cè)趺磶椭麄兏惺苷_?

–接受他們的感受。

問(wèn)題通常是家長(zhǎng)并不接受孩子的感受。比如，家長(zhǎng)會(huì)說(shuō): “你不是真的那樣以為?！薄澳悻F(xiàn)在這樣說(shuō)只是因?yàn)槟憷哿??！薄皼]必要這么不高興?！?br>

【單詞/詞組/句型】

① intriguing /?n?tri?ɡ??/ adjective

something that is intriguing is very interesting because it is strange, mysterious, or unexpected SYN fascinating

eg. The magazine carries an intriguing mixture of high fashion, gossip and racing.

② speed by： if time speeds by, it seems to pass very quickly

eg. The weeks sped by and soon it was time to go back to school.

②? Two hours sped by. I came home with a head spinning with new thoughts and a notebook full of undigested ideas

Steady denial of feelings can confuse and enrage kids. Also teaches them not to know what their feelings are—not to trust them.

【段落大意】

一再地否定孩子的感受會(huì)使他們感到困惑、激怒他們并讓他們沒辦法理解自己的感受、相信自己的感受。

【單詞/詞組/句型】

① denial /d??na??l/ noun

1 [countable, uncountable] a statement saying that something is not true → deny

denial of

eg. The government issued an official denial of the rumour.

denial that

eg. denials that border security had not been strict enough

② enrage

to make someone very angry → angerMany readers were enraged by his article.

After the session I remember thinking, “Maybe other parents do that. I don’t.” Then I started listening to myself. Here are some sample conversations from my home—just from a single day.

【段落大意】

那次家長(zhǎng)聚會(huì)之后我開始思考:也許其他家長(zhǎng)會(huì)犯這些錯(cuò)誤，而我不會(huì)。于是我開始注意觀察我和孩子們之間的對(duì)話。以下是一些在一天當(dāng)中我和孩子們對(duì)話的例子。

CHILD: Mommy, I’m tired.

ME: You couldn’t be tired. You just napped.

CHILD: (louder) But I’m tired.

ME: You’re not tired. You’re just a little sleepy. Let’s get dressed.

CHILD: (wailing) No, I’m tired!CHILD: Mommy, it’s hot in here.ME: It’s cold. Keep your sweater on.

CHILD: No, I’m hot.

ME: I said, “Keep your sweater on!”

CHILD: No, I’m hot.

CHILD: That TV show was boring.

ME: No, it wasn’t. It was very interesting.

CHILD: It was stupid.ME: It was educational.

CHILD: It stunk.

ME: Don’t talk that way!

【段落大意】

孩子:媽媽，我累了。

媽媽:你怎么會(huì)累呢？不是剛睡了一覺嗎?

孩子:(大聲地說(shuō))我就是累了呀。

媽媽:你不是累了，你只是還有點(diǎn)兒困，趕緊穿好衣服。

孩子:(大喊)我就是累了!

孩子:媽媽，這里好熱??！

媽媽:不熱啊，穿上你的毛衣。

孩子:不，我好熱

孩子:這個(gè)節(jié)目太無(wú)聊了。

媽媽:不無(wú)聊啊，明明很有趣。

孩子:太蠢了

媽媽:很有教育意義。

孩子:太傻X了。

媽媽:不許說(shuō)臟話!

【單詞/詞組/句型】

① stink

1 to have a strong and very unpleasant smell

eg. It stinks in here!

stink of

eg. His breath stank of alcohol.

The toilets stank to high heaven (=stank very much).

2 spoken used to say that something is bad, unfair, dishonest etc

Don’t eat there – the food stinks! The whole justice system stinks.→

stink something? out

to fill a place with a very unpleasant smell

Those onions are stinking the whole house out.

② wail v.

1) [T] to say something in a loud, sad, and complaining way‘But what shall I do?’ Bernard wailed.

2) [I] to cry out with a long high sound, especially because you are very sad or in painSomewhere behind them a child began to wail.

3) [I] to make a long high soundThe wind wailed in the chimney.— wail noun [C]the wail of police sirens

Can you see what was happening? Not only were all our conversations turning into arguments, I was also telling my children over and over again not to trust their own perceptions but to rely on mine instead.

【段落大意】

能從我們的對(duì)話中看出發(fā)生了什么嗎？這些對(duì)話最后都演變成了爭(zhēng)論，而且我一次次地告訴孩子們要相信我的判斷而不是相信他們自己的感受。

【單詞/詞組/句型】

① perception

1) [C,U] the way you think about something and your idea of what it is likeperception ofchildren’s perceptions of the worldthe public perception of the government’s performance

2) [U] the way that you notice things with your senses of sight, hearing etcdrugs that alter perceptionvisual perception

3) [U] the natural ability to understand or notice things quicklyRoss shows unusual perception for a boy of his age.

② not only, (but) also

Not only were all our conversations turning into arguments,...

否定詞在句首，后面需要倒裝。

Once I was aware of what I was doing, I was determined to change. But I wasn’t sure how to go about it. What finally helped me most was actually putting myself in my children’s shoes. I asked myself, “Suppose I were a child who was tired, or hot or bored? And suppose I wanted that all-important grown-up in my life to know what I was feeling . . . ?”

【段落大意】當(dāng)我意識(shí)到問(wèn)題時(shí)我下決心要有所改變，但我并不確定該怎樣做。最后還是設(shè)身處地地從孩子的角度去思考問(wèn)題這個(gè)方法幫到了我，我會(huì)去思考:假如我是個(gè)小朋友，我覺得累了、熱了、無(wú)聊了，我會(huì)怎樣? 如果我是個(gè)小朋友我想讓我身邊這些對(duì)我很重要的成年人了解我的感受，我該怎么做呢?

【單詞/詞組/句型】

① in other's shoes

2) in somebody’s shoes in someone else’s situation, especially a bad oneI wouldn’t like to be in his shoes when his wife finds out what happened.Anyone in her shoes would have done the same thing.Don’t be cross with them. Try to put yourself in their shoes (=imagine what it would feel like to be in their situation) .

Over the next weeks I tried to tune in to what I thought my children might be experiencing, and when I did, my words seemed to follow naturally. I wasn’t just using a technique. I really meant it when I said, “So you’re still feeling tired—even though you just napped.” Or “I’m cold, but for you it’s hot in here.” Or “I can see you didn’t care much for that show.” After all, we were two separate people, capable of having two different sets of feelings. Neither of us was right or wrong. We each felt what we felt.

【段落大意】

所以，接下來(lái)的幾周，我試著去感同身受孩子們的體驗(yàn)，然后我們的溝通變得自然而然。我甚至沒有運(yùn)用任何技巧，我說(shuō)的每一句話都是我的真情實(shí)感: “所以雖然你睡了一覺可是現(xiàn)在還是覺得累?！薄澳阌X得這里熱，我卻覺得這里蠻冷的”?！拔铱闯鰜?lái)了你對(duì)這個(gè)電視節(jié)目不感興趣?！辈还茉鯓?，我們是兩個(gè)獨(dú)立的個(gè)體，自然有各自不同的感覺。這里面沒有對(duì)與錯(cuò)，我們只是各自感受各自的感受。

【單詞/詞組/句型】

① tune v.

2) also be tuned in to realize or understand what is happening or what other people are thinkingtune in toTry to tune in to your partner’s needs.The company aims to be more tuned in to customer needs.

For a while, my new skill was a big help. There was a noticeable reduction in the number of arguments between the children and me. Then one day my daughter announced, “I hate Grandma,” and it was my mother she was talking about. I never hesitated for a second. “That is a terrible thing to say,” I snapped. “You know you don’t mean it. I don’t ever want to hear that coming out of your mouth again.”

【段落大意】

一段時(shí)間以來(lái)，我學(xué)到的新技能給了我很大的幫助，我和孩子們爭(zhēng)執(zhí)的次數(shù)明顯減少了。然而，一天，當(dāng)我女兒說(shuō):“我討厭姥姥”時(shí)，我一秒都沒有猶豫、非常生氣地說(shuō):“你說(shuō)的話太可怕了，你知道你不是這個(gè)意思，不許你再說(shuō)出這種話來(lái)?！?br>

【單詞/詞組/句型】

① snap

3 SAY SOMETHING ANGRILY [intransitive, transitive] to say something quickly in an angry way

eg. ‘What do you want?’ Mike snapped.

snap at

eg. He snapped at Walter for no reason.

②? 背誦句型： There was a noticeable reduction in the number of arguments between the children and me.

② a while: a period of time, especially a short one 暫時(shí)