Tuesdays with Morrie（中文版《相約星期二》），最近比較喜歡的一本書，用詞簡單、樸素，真實(shí)記錄了老教授在患了“ALS”（我們所說的“漸凍癥”）后的生活狀況，他的一位學(xué)生為他記錄了人生的最后時(shí)刻，最后的“十四堂課”里，他們討論生活的意義，談?wù)撊松?、談?wù)摷彝?、談?wù)摳星?、談?wù)撳X、談?wù)撍劳?......，截選的一段讓人深刻的對話。
人人都在苦惱人生，當(dāng)浮躁不安的時(shí)候看看別人的對人生的想法，一個(gè)老人對生活意義的詮釋，或許會帶給你有不同的感受。
“We’ve got a form of brainwashing going on in our country,” Morrie sighed. “Do you know how they brainwash people? They repeat something over and over. And that’s what we do in this country. Owning things is good. More money is good. More property is good. More commercialism is good. More is good. More is good. We repeat it—and have it repeated to us—over and over until nobody bothers to even think otherwise. The average person is so fogged up by all this, he has no perspective on what’s really important anymore.
“Wherever I went in my life, I met people wanting to gobble up something new. Gobble up a new car. Gobble up a new piece of property. Gobble up the latest toy. And then they wanted to tell you about it. ‘Guess what I got? Guess what I got?’
“You know how I always interpreted that? These were people so hungry for love that they were accepting substitutes. They were embracing material things and expecting a sort of hug back. But it never works. You can’t substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship.
“Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not a substitute for tenderness. I can tell you, as I’m sitting here dying, when you most need it, neither money nor power will give you the feeling you’re looking for, no matter how much of them you have.”
“There’s a big confusion in this country over what we want versus what we need,” Morrie said. “You need food, you want a chocolate sundae. You have to be honest with yourself. You don’t need the latest sports car, you don’t need the biggest house.
“The truth is, you don’t get satisfaction from those things. You know what really gives you satisfaction?”
What?
“Offering others what you have to give.” You sound like a Boy Scout.
“I don’t mean money, Mitch. I mean your time. Your concern. Your storytelling. It’s not so hard. There’s a senior center that opened near here. Dozens of elderly people come there every day. If you’re a young man or young woman and you have a skill, you are asked to come and teach it. Say you know computers. You come there and teach them computers. You are very welcome there. And they are very grateful. This is how you start to get respect, by offering something that you have.
“There are plenty of places to do this. You don’t need to have a big talent. There are lonely people in hospitals and shelters who only want some companionship. You play cards with a lonely older man and you find new respect for yourself, because you are needed.
“Mitch, if you’re trying to show o for people at the top, forget it. They will look down at you anyhow. And if you’re trying to show o for people at the bottom, forget it. They will only envy you. Status will get you nowhere. Only an open heart will allow you to oat equally between everyone.”
“Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you won’t be dissatis ed, you won’t be envious, you won’t be longing for somebody else’s things. On the contrary, you’ll be overwhelmed with what comes back.”
“我們國家提倡灌輸?shù)慕逃问?，”莫里嘆道?！澳阒浪麄兪窃鯓庸噍?shù)膯?？他們對你一遍又一遍地重?fù)，這就是我們國家的做法。擁有得越多越好。錢越多越好。財(cái)富越多越好。商業(yè)行為也是越多越好。越多越好。越多越好。我們反復(fù)地對別人這么說——?jiǎng)e人又反復(fù)地對我們這么說——一遍又一遍，直到人人都認(rèn)為這是真理。大多數(shù)人會受它迷惑而失去自己的判斷能力。
“無論我生活在哪里，我都會遇到一些對新的東西充滿了占有欲的人，想擁有新的汽車，想擁有新的財(cái)產(chǎn)，想擁有新的玩具。然后沾沾自喜地向你炫耀：‘猜我得到了什么？猜我得到了什么？’
“你知道我對此是怎么解釋的？這些人都渴望得到愛，但又得不到，于是就接受了這些替代品。他們樂于接受物質(zhì)的東西，期望能得到類似于擁抱的感情回報(bào)，但這是行不通的。你無法用物質(zhì)的東西去替代愛、善良、溫柔或朋友間的親情。
“錢無法替代溫情，權(quán)力也無法替代溫情。我能告訴你，當(dāng)我坐在這兒等待死亡時(shí)，當(dāng)你最需要這份溫情時(shí)，金錢或權(quán)力都無法給予你這份感情，不管你擁有多少財(cái)富或權(quán)勢?！?/p>
“這個(gè)社會在想要什么和需要什么這個(gè)問題上是很感困惑的，”莫里說?！澳阈枰氖鞘澄?，而你想要的卻是巧克力圣代。你得對自己誠實(shí)。你并不需要最新的跑車，你并不需要最大的房子。
“實(shí)際上，它們不能使你感到滿足。你知不知道真正使你感到滿足的是什么嗎？”
是什么？
“給予他人你應(yīng)該給予的東西?！甭犉饋硐駛€(gè)童子軍。
“我不是指金錢，米奇。我是指你的時(shí)間，你的關(guān)心，你的閑談。這并不難。這兒附近開辦了一個(gè)老年學(xué)校，幾十個(gè)老年人每天去那兒。如果你年輕而且又有專長，學(xué)校就會請你去講課。你在那里會很受歡迎。那些老人非常感激你。你給予了別人，于是你開始贏得別人的尊敬?！?/p>
“有很多這樣的地方。你不需要有非凡的才能。醫(yī)院和避難所里那些孤獨(dú)的人只想得到一點(diǎn)陪伴。你和一個(gè)孤獨(dú)的老頭打打牌，你就會發(fā)現(xiàn)新的生活價(jià)值，因?yàn)槿藗冃枰恪?/p>
“米奇，如果你想對社會的上層炫耀自己，那就打消這個(gè)念頭，他們照樣看不起你。如果你想對社會的底層炫耀自己，也請打消這個(gè)念頭，他們只會忌妒你。身份和地位往往使你感到無所適從。唯有一顆坦誠的心方能使你悠然地面對整個(gè)社會?！?/p>
“只要你做的是發(fā)自內(nèi)心的，你過后就不會感到失望，不會感到妒忌，也不會計(jì)較別人的回報(bào)。否則，你就要患得患失?！?/p>
