想來(lái)今天是傳說(shuō)中的光棍節(jié)呀！不打照面一聲地來(lái)到。

今日SC陰雨，早上預(yù)備counseling，卻因?qū)Ψ接袝r(shí)改約；之后去幫Chisholms收拾東西搬家。中午趕回來(lái)洗碗做飯洗衣，再去圖書(shū)館寫case report, 晚上再坐進(jìn)readingroom 看書(shū)寫journal。頭與心卻像秤砣一般沉重，真的難受極了，沒(méi)法集中注意力做手頭的工。原因如下：

Anger in my heart from unfair treatment and shame or guilt for failure to follow Him who gives me mercy and grace instead of fair judgment

What-my contribution or sharing of the daily life needs deserves correspondingly respect concerning what I would like to eat or who I would like to invite as our guests instead of the other one controlling over all things;

Why-my desires for respect did not get fulfilled, I hold grudge and treat the other unfriendly by keeping silent or giving an indifferent look; want to speak it back.

What bad consequences-for me, I sin against Him by unrighteous anger as God commands me to love others as myself and not to seek my own benefits; for the other one, she gets hurt by my unfriendly look or tone and our relationship get stuck if I am preoccupied with "fairness"

How to change:??I need to confess it to Him, repent of my sin and get rid of my unrighteous anger as well as giving her grace. I also need to remind myself of the lie of "fairness"-pains/contribution in proportion to gains/respect(voice of speech) and of my motive for doing something just for God not for show or for sb's approval(be faithful to God in tiny little things)

frustration over handling of a friend's birthday

she is our mutual friend. I remember her birthday is coming and I want to treat her a meal or give her a gift. but I don't know if she also knew her birthday or has any plan for her. If I tell her about it and she agrees to invite her to a meal, then I can't show my individual good intentions and a bit worried that she will take credit by herself which is typical of her, and I will feel sad for not being able to enjoy my personal honor.-the truth is that I am concerned more about personal glory than serving others.--again my bad and my sin!?

Right way- communicate with her and receptive to have the friend together even though I am not being thought of.